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The Dis- Diss

DISISIT2The following is a collection of pun-like interactions involving words beginning with “dis” — possibly the largest such original dis-punsation in the history of humanity.

Join the fun and try to add your own…
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This sickness has made me so worried – I’m just always tense nowadays.

Disease is like that.

I’ve had to distance myself from my Marxist friend Robert; I just don’t agree with him anymore, and it’s all been kind of confusing.

I know, you’re feeling discombobulated.

They finally took down that billboard from the beautiful viewpoint that’s hard to get to because of road conditions.

Sounds like a disadvantaged location.

At the end, Jean Luc Picard just couldn’t get into his Star Fleet captain role anymore.

He seemed disengaged.

I can’t stand this month: I’ve got my anniversary, 4 family birthdays, Mother’s Day, and I’m so worn out by the end that I can hardly enjoy Memorial Day.

That’s dismaying.

I wrote the protest email and off it went but then it bounced back! Ugh.

I know, dissent can be a frustrating process.

I was curious so I just grabbed that blanket and yanked it off the bed.

What did you discover?

I was carefully counting the fruit on the Mediterranean tree in the painting but then someone in the background called out “42” and I got mixed up which made me throw out my arm and I accidentally hit the canvas.

How badly did you disfigure things?

I like to tell people about how I gave up swearing.

You like discussing, don’t you?

I used to be in favor of eating a measured amount of food in my diet, but I gave that up.

That’s a disproportionate response.

Those women were speaking reproachfully about the opposite sex while they were tearing down the fireplace.

They really dismantled it.

He had cardiac surgery but the artificial organ replacement just couldn’t pump his blood correctly.

That’s disheartening.

It was terrible seeing how they treated those little people at that huge shopping galleria.

I know, it was so dismally done.

I promoted a highly qualified person into the position, but months of infighting led to her begin kicked out.

What a disappointing result.

I couldn’t believe how they addressed that young lady.

Yes, it was so dismissive.

He was always so harsh towards people of that race, and then his daughter married one.

Hopefully that will disabuse him of such biases.

Different cultures have different practices on how to deal with the umbilical after birth, and conflicting views sometimes happen.

Lots of discord can arise over that.

He used to get into fistfights all the time, until that terrible accident at the lumber yard.

Yeah, that really disarmed him.

Sometimes I get obsessed with trying to number everything.

I try to discount such feelings.

He used to make those low, loud noises when he was working hard around the yard, but his throat problems put a damper on that.

He’s a bit disgruntled over this development.

Inflation rates have been so low lately.

That’s why I’m disinterested in my savings account’s growth.

The two of them broke up, and then they got back together, but now I think it’s over for good.

They’re in a state of disrepair.

The vote is being carefully watched in Paris; the country’s voters have been in turmoil regarding their position in Europe.

It could be a disenfranchising outcome.

She tried to keep the door shut as long as possible, but finally they got it open and the surprise was revealed.

Another unwelcome disclosure.

He tried to check in with his American Express, but it was rejected and he was put out for the night.

Getting discharged and discarded like that is humiliating.

They were hosting the loud and obnoxious speaker, so they first got a legal document drawn up for protection.

It’s always wise to have a disclaimer in these cases.

There was a lot of arguing about what exactly happened in the incident, so it wasn’t clear what legal action might occur.

There was plenty of distortion from those who were responsible for the problems.

The CERN super-collider near Geneva had some people worried it might create black holes.

Their discernment led to protests.

The increasingly absentminded transplant surgeon slowly grew more reluctant to deal with body parts.

His disorganized mind led to a slowdown in his business.

The dean tried to deliver a recognition speech for the controversial colleague, but it was shouted down by many in the crowd.

That’s one way to distribute the news.

The superstar model slipped and fell into the water at the beach shoot.

She was disposed for no further work that day.

He tried to write the code for people’s phones, to help those hard of hearing, but gave up.

Another disappearing act.

While she was busy working a project overseas, the city exercised eminent domain and took away some of her property.

Too bad she was distracted.

He phoned in for pizza delivery, but it was a chaotic night at the restaurant and the pizza never arrived.

That place was guilty of disorderly conduct again.


Some additions after the original set …

The rough raft ride through the steep canyon after lunch already had made him nauseous, but the rapid drop at the end out into the flat area did him in.

He felt completely disgorged after leaving the scenic area so suddenly.

The math student stepped away from the computer after loading up the large matrix with number for her homework, and then the cat jumped up and lay down on the keyboard.

She was horrified to find the assignment left in a state of disarray.

The elderly man thought his assets were carefully tucked away in the fund, but his caretaker had secretly siphoned off most of the money.

Such examples of distrust are repugnant.

The long and terrible winds wrought significant destruction, but the people finally came out when the eerie calm began.

A scene of disgust met their eyes.

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Creative writing teachers take note — sometimes you just can’t make up this kind of fiction. While perusing the web for a place to stay for a couple nights in Venice, I came across a hotel review that was complete with mystery and intrigue. Two people describe the same episode, each spinning their own tale and both appear to be sincere attempts to describe what happened. There were clearly some language issues, an emotional meltdown, and expectation differences — that latter point indicating some good marketing work by the hotel. Well, good until you arrived, to the travellers.

Click/Tap HERE for the stories – the ‘Absolute Scam!’ review. And vote for your favorite version.

And if you’re a writing teacher, this would make a good creative writing assignments: Create a tale of an episode described from two opposing viewpoints, both of which are true to the respective parties.

Scam or friendly hosts? You decide.

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While the day of our entry and exit to/from this world are not normally something we could select even if we wanted to (and most wouldn’t want), there is one date combination that Americans might pick more than any other: to be born and die on Independence Day, July 4th. Last month I attended a memorial service of a woman, Shirlee Key, who had that distinction (about a 1 in 130,000 chance*), and from the stories of her life it was obvious that she was well loved and the distinctiveness of her life was not in those dates, but in a life well lived.

About a year ago Shirlee’s grandson, whom I knew, died tragically, starting my leisurely (or let’s say deliberate instead of slow) journey to write a poem. At that time I managed to get all the way through the title. Shirlee’s passing has motivated a completed Haiku version as a preliminary release; the final poem rendition, that’s a deep and touching thing of beauty, is scheduled for the very distant future.

The nice thing about creating a Haiku poem, as I practice it (using 5 – 7 – 5 syllables in three lines), is that you’re never more than 17 syllables from the end. Some Haiku-ists are not so adamant about the syllable count in English Haiku, seeings as the form developed in the Japanese language.

Anyway, here it is, a teensy-tiny glimpse of the transition to glory that’s ingrained in the Christian view of reality.

The Final Dawn

Eyes close one last time
Winter yields to sudden Spring
Wake to endless light

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* The actual odds are not quite 1 in (365)2 since there are not equal chances of being born or dying on each day. But it’s close, since there are fewer deaths in the summer, but more births in the summer. Maybe something to look at in a future post.

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